Dawg headed to Canada…

It’s hot as hell here in Texas and so I’m headed out for awhile. The Dawg and Missus Dawg will be in Canada for most of the next two weeks. But not to worry! Rather than taking a break, we have decided to offer some CLASSIC LAW DAWG from the original print publication. So the next two weeks will be light on the law, but we hope to induce a chuckle or two. We start today.

DEAR DAWG: Snort, here. Rip Snort. Intrepid Reporter. Friend of the Truth. Dawg, you won’t believe the repression and blue-nosed censorship I’ve uncovered out here. Our so called educational leaders are planning to dump one of our most creative and popular teachers, the youthful and exuberant Ms. Downyshanks. It seems that ‘Shanks, as the boys call her, had the audacity to show a film in her high school English class that is unacceptable to the power structure. Faceless bureaucrats, hiding behind the excuse that the film was not on “the approved list” are planning to bid Ms. Downyshanks adieu at the end of the year. The people cry out for freedom, but are met with an iron fist. The people cry out for artistic liberty, but find only “an approved list.” The people, Dawg, seek your guidance in these troubled times. SNORT.

DEAR SNORT: Your crack team of investigators left out a few key facts. “Gidget Jump Starts Her Social Life” will never be confused with Othello. The flick got a bad rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It is rated R due to extensive vulgar language and what are discretely referred to as “sexual situations.” Ms. Downyshanks failed to seek parental approval for the film, as the school generally requires for an R-rated movie. Moreover, the denouement of this drama, in which Gidget finds security and happiness by obtaining her very own supply of prophylactic devices, leaves many in the community concerned over what message this is sending the young people. While it is true that other teachers have also showed movies not on the “approved list” none has shown such colossal poor judgment. This looks to us like the situation in Krizek v. Cicero-Stickney Township High School, 713 F.Supp. 1131 (N.D. Ill. 1989). In that case, the court upheld the nonrenewal of a teacher for showing the film “About Last Night.” Keep looking for that big case, Snort. We are sure that it will come.