DEAR DAWG: Snort, here. Rip Snort. Intrepid Reporter. Friend of the Truth. Dawg, there has been a serious and tragic student injury in these parts. A lunch tray was accidentally overturned in the cafeteria and the mashed potatoes landed on Susie, a third grader. The sweet young thing suffered second degree burns. The school district refuses to own up to this, as usual. Hiding behind “no comment” and vague references to “immunity” the district officials reveal themselves as a bungling bunch of bureaucratic excess. But with Snort on the case there is hope for Justice. Can you provide some help, Dawg? Tell these people about the law! SNORT.
DEAR SNORT: Forget about the law, Snort, let’s talk mashed potatoes. Never in the history of Texas has a school cafeteria served mashed potatoes at a temperature hot enough to melt butter. We think this “injury” is highly suspect. Beyond that, there is a governmental immunity that will protect the district from any liability. Schools are immune from liability for torts unless they are caused by the negligent use or operation of a motor vehicle by a school officer or employee acting within the scope of employment. In short, Snort, this is a tort. Be a sport. Don’t’ go to court.

DAWG BONE: YOU WANT HOT MASHED POTATOES? GO TO CRACKER BARREL

TOMORROW: EMILY LITELLA WEIGHS IN ON “INTIMATE DOMAIN”