Dear Dawg: You know I’ve been writing you every week to ask if we can fire our football coach. You keep urging caution. Well….I have some wonderful news to share.
No, we did not win our game last week. Once again we were beaten, battered, blitzed and befuddled. We were pummeled, pounced on and pulverized. We were out-hustled, out-coached, out-played and most definitely out-scored.
But we got some great news. Our coach has accepted a new job. He is to become the defensive coordinator for the Texas Longhorns. The UT Sports Department acknowledged that our coach has not been very successful, but said that “if he can hold the other team below 50 points, we will consider it an improvement.”
I guess they are pretty desperate there at Bevo U. Anyway, we’re delighted and will immediately launch an international search for our new coach. Will keep you posted. YOUR FRIEND.
DEAR YOUR FRIEND: Congratulations on the happy outcome. But as a loyal alum of UT, I’m writing immediately to the University’s lawyers: can we fire this guy??????
DAWG BONE: WE HEAR THAT MACK BROWN IS STILL AVAILABLE