It is the tradition in many schools that graduating seniors hand some small object to the principal as the principal shakes the hand of the graduate.   I witnessed a principal collecting gummy worms (is that what they’re called?) one time. But the best story I heard was of the principal who had to stuff over 400 condoms into his pockets during the ceremony.

One school I know of banned any sort of logo or decoration of the cap and gown. So a kid showed up with a Texas A&M logo on the top of the cap.  Hmmmm.  On the one hand, rules is rules!! On the other hand, we should celebrate and honor those students who move on to a four-year college.  Furthermore, this was in the heart of Aggieland.  “Whoops” were heard throughout the high school stadium that night.  What to do?

You need to be prepared for the valedictorian who switches speeches at the last minute, the smoke bomb going off during the ceremony, and who knows what else.

My favorite part of graduation night is the “please hold your applause until the last student crosses the stage.”  Good luck enforcing that.

I have been privileged to give the graduation speech at a number of high school graduation ceremonies.  My main advice to the graduates on this occasion is to embrace the utter cheesiness of the event.  There they are wearing silly clothes.  Mom is crying and Dad is popping pictures.  They will hug classmates that they haven’t spoken to in three years, and perhaps apologize to the teacher they tormented.  Solemn speeches are given (not heard—just given) and the school song is sung with fervor.  It’s the cheesiest moment of their otherwise way cool lives.  So they need to embrace it.

So in honor of the upcoming graduations throughout the state, I offer this poem:

IT ISN’T EASY…..BEING CHEESY

IT ISN’T EASY……BEING CHEESY.
THEY’LL CALL YOU THE FOOL WHEN YOU DARE BE UNCOOL
AND STAND IN THE WAY OF WHAT’S POPULAR TODAY.

BUT CHEESY FOLKS SHOULD TAKE UP THEIR SWORDS.
THEY SEE THE DIRECTION WE ARE HEADING TOWARDS.
WE NEED THEM NOW IN OUR SCHOOLS AND ON OUR BOARDS.
WE SHOULD THINK OF WAYS TO GIVE THEM REWARDS.

FOR IT’S THE CHEESY FOLK WHO STAY TO THE LAST.
WHO FINISH THE JOB THOUGH THEY MAY NOT BE FAST.
WHO CLEAN UP THE PLACE WHEN THE FUN IS ALL PAST.
WHO DO THE RIGHT THING THOUGH THEY MAY BE HARASSED.

THEY DO THE RIGHT THING NOT FOR DOLLAR OR PESO.
THEY DO THE RIGHT THING NOT BECAUSE THEIR BOSS SAY SO.
THEY DO THE RIGHT THING ‘CAUSE THEY ARE PEOPLE OF QUESO.

SO WHEN YOU SEE A CHEESY GUY DON’T TREAT HIM LIKE A BUG.
DON’T TELL A CHEESY GAL THAT YOU THINK SHE’S A SLUG.
DON’T WAIT TILL THE TRUTH FROM WITHIN YOU IS DRUG.
GIVE THE CHEESY FOLKS A THANKS AND A SMILE AND A HUG.

DAWG BONE: IT ISN’T EASY…..BEING CHEESY.