Dear Dawg: Our school is demoralized due to the abject failure of our football team. It got so bad last Friday that the entire drum section of the band pulled paper bags over their heads to hide their shame. We hear that the brass section intends to join in on this action at tonight’s game.

Dawg, you know very well that a winning football team lifts the hearts of the entire community. But the opposite is true also. Can’t we fire this loser????  SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED.

DEAR SICK AND TIRED: He might be a loser, but at least his players are not pulling paper bags over their heads.  We suggest you focus your attentions on the band director!

DAWG BONE: BUT IF YOU DO FIRE HIM, WE HEAR THAT LES MILES IS AVAILABLE