The Dawg does not personally know any Klingons.  Nor does the Dawg know anyone who can translate the Notice of Procedural Safeguards document into Klingon. But there must be such people out there. We know this because we have read a brief that was filed in the case of Paramount Pictures Corp. v. Axanar Productions, Inc., now pending in the federal district court in California.

The Language Creation Society (LCS) filed an amicus curiae (friend of the court) brief in this case.  According to the LCS, Paramount is claiming that it owns the copyright to the entire Klingon language.  The LCS maintains that this is impossible—that you cannot "copyright” an entire language.

Reading the brief, we learned that there is a Klingon dictionary that has sold 250,000 copies. And there is Klingon Language Institute.  The KLI publishes a quarterly journal, offers a Klingon Language Certification Program and, of course, holds an annual conference.  Hamlet, Much Ado About Nothing and The Epic of Gilgamesh have been translated into Klingon, but so far as we know, none of the Harry Potter books have.  For movie buffs, you might want to check out the documentary about the KLI entitled “Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water.”

The Dawg finds that reference kinda rude.

We will keep you posted as this litigation continues. In the meantime, we suspect you look for someone who has one of those Klingon Language Certificates to do your translating.

One final suggestion: if you talk to a Klingon, for heaven’s sake do not say: Hab Sosli Quch!  This means “your mother has a smooth forehead.”  Very insulting.

DAWG BONE: FROM ONE UGLY BAG OF MOSTLY WATER TO OTHERS: LIVE LONG AND PROSPER.

File this one under: WHERE ELSE BUT THE DAILY DAWG CAN YOU GET STUFF LIKE THIS?