DEAR DAWG: Here in Serenity Falls ISD we are concerned about the basic communication skills of our new in house counsel.  I know that a person must be pretty smart to get out of law school and pass the bar, but still—we wonder what’s going on.  Here is an example of part of a written communication we got from our new lawyer that raised eyebrows:

I’ve examined this from all angels, running the gambit of every possibility.  Based on existing case law, my opinion is that the court will not conclude that the matter is mute, but will take jurisdiction of the case.  The rationale for the decision offered by the district may not pass mustard with the court.  Its possible that we could lose the case and have to pay damages, attorneys’ fees and costs—in other words, the whole kitten caboodle. 

See what I mean?  AT LEAST THE SPELLING IS RIGHT.

DEAR AT LEAST: You have good reason to ring the alarm! This does not at all “pass mustard.”  Perhaps the good readers of the Daily Dawg can help out.  A free extension of your subscription to the first person to email a list of every word that is incorrect in the above.  Send it to jwalsh@wabsa.com.  

DAWG BONE: DOESN’T PASS THE KETCHUP EITHER.

The Dawg barks again on Monday. Enjoy the weekend!