I used to offer people a nickel if they could tell me a lawyer joke I’ve never heard.  I rarely had to pay up.  I take some pride in being a member of a profession that has its own genre of jokes, and so I tend to listen for them and remember them. 

Here’s one that goes back a long way.  Two guys are in a hot air balloon and they have drifted off course.  They eventually get the balloon low enough that they can talk to a man driving a tractor in a field.  The conversation goes like this:

GUY IN BALLOON: Hello! Hello!! Can you tell me where we are?

TRACTOR DRIVER:  I’d say you’re about 75 feet, straight overhead. 

GUY IN BALLOON: Thanks…..

FIRST GUY: I know he looked like a farmer, but look at what just happened.  We asked him a question.  He gave us an answer.  I’m sure that his answer was completely accurate.  And we are just as lost now as we were before we asked him. 

The Second Guy remained skeptical until they found their way home and a week later received a bill from a law firm for $50.

That joke works because legal advice is often like that: accurate, but not helpful.   When you talk to a lawyer, you should be sure that you get an answer that is clear.  Make sure that you understand what you MAY do; what you MAY NOT do; what you MUST do. 

Of course the law is often murky and ambiguous. One client I know is always in search of a one-armed lawyer who won’t be able to say “…on the other hand.”  Oftentimes legal advice has to be couched in terms of risk.  Lawyers say things like “You can do that, but there is a high likelihood that you will have to defend your decision in court.” Clients want to know exactly how things are going to play out, and no lawyer can promise that.

Legal advice is a two-person game.  As the client, your job is to give the lawyer all of the information available.   The lawyer’s advice is dependent on the facts as the lawyer understands them. If the lawyer’s understanding of the facts is wrong, the advice is worthless.  The client is responsible for making sure that the lawyer understands the facts.  The lawyer should ask all the questions that are necessary to get to that factual understanding. 

Since the baseball season is actually starting today let me offer an analogy. The relationship between client and lawyer is like the relationship between shortstop and second baseman when turning a double play.  Both have to do their jobs for the play to succeed.  The quicker and more accurately the shortstop fields and tosses the ball, the easier it is for the second baseman to complete the play. 

At Walsh Gallegos, we try to ask the right questions to make sure that we understand what the facts are, and what the client’s goal is.  That’s how we help the people who help the kids. 

DAWG BONE:  GOOD LEGAL ADVICE REQUIRES TEAMWORK.

Tomorrow: transgender teacher comes to Texas