Is it ever OK to lie to the child’s parents?

Dear Dawg: Our superintendent has issued a new directive, telling us that if we are aware that a transgender student wants to keep that information confidential, then we are supposed to honor that request. Which I am fine with, except that I asked the superintendent if that applies to the child’s parents. And he said it does. I asked: what if the parents ask us point blank—is my child claiming to be transgender while at school? And the supe said “It’s confidential.  Lie to them.”  WTH!

DEAR WTH:  The Dawg does not condone lying under any circumstances. We think your superintendent is giving you bad advice.  We read about a situation like this brewing in Washington state. We don’t know what the laws are in Washington, but here in Texas we have a very clear directive:

T.E.C. 26.008: (a) A parent is entitled to FULL INFORMATION regarding the school activities of a parent’s child except as provided by Section 38.004 [Child abuse investigations].

(b) An attempt by any school employee to encourage or coerce a child to withhold information from the child’s parents is grounds for discipline under Section 21.104, 21.156, or 21.211, as applicable. (Emphasis added).

So you don’t withhold, or encourage withholding of information and you don’t lie.  Not to the parents.  Now you may run into very difficult situations where you have good reason to believe that disclosure of certain information to the parent would subject the student to abuse.  You need to talk that situation over with your legal counsel. But we think you can find an appropriate course of action short of outright mendacity.

DAWG BONE: PARENTS ARE PARTNERS WITH US.  SAYS SO IN T.E.C. 26.001. DON’T LIE TO YOUR PARTNER.

 Tomorrow: A Toolbox illustration from a Texas district!