Donald Trump Announces Education Plan

Republican frontrunner, Donald Trump, today revealed his plan to “make America’s public schools great again.”  Speaking to a boisterous crowd of educators, the billionaire businessman turned politician promised that “our schools are going to be amazing. You’re going to love sending your kids to one of our schools.  It’s going to be tremendous.  You wait and see.”

Mr. Trump won over the crowd when he noted that “you can’t expect your schools to be great unless you have great people running them. And you can’t get great people unless you pay them. When I am President, every teacher will have a six-figure income and still have that three-month vacation. And you superintendents?  The sky’s the limit! I mean…you have to reward people for good work!  We need great principals! We’re going to have all of that when I am your president and our schools are going to be winners again.  Just wait and see.”

A big believer in local control, Mr. Trump promised to repeal any federal law that imposes any obligation on local school districts. However, he did call for a universal adoption of his bestselling book, “The Art of the Deal” as mandatory reading for high school students.  “How else,” he asked, “can we expect our kids to compete with kids around the world?  Everybody in the world reads my book.”

Of particular interest to Texas educators, Mr. Trump noted that he expected illegal immigration from south of the border to completely dry up even before his wall is completed.  He explained that the children in Mexico would be required to stay in their country in order to raise the money Mexico would need to pay for the wall.