Dear Dawg: We noticed you’ve been looking a little funny….

Dear Dawg: Snort here. Rip Snort.  Intrepid Reporter and Friend of the Truth.  Dawg, we don’t mean to intrude, be rude, or crude. But we saw you on a Zoom call recently, and….well….you looked kinda funny, Old Friend.  Was it just the lighting?  SNORT.

Dear Snort: Your matchless reportorial instincts are right on target, Snort.  Yes, the Dawg has been featuring an unusual countenance of late.  It seems there was a cancerous blotch on the Dawg’s snout that needed attention.  It’s all gone now, and I am in tiptop good health.  But the doctors have been carving on my face like it’s a jack-o-lantern. There have actually been five, count ‘em, five surgeries. The first one was December 14th and the final one is scheduled for today, after which I will proudly display my reconstructed proboscis for all to see.

It’s provided a teachable moment.  I see that I am vain.  I am unduly concerned about my personal appearance, and embarrassed to be stared at by strangers: “Mommy…what‘s wrong with that man’s face?”  I also see that I have sinfully taken pride in my thick, rich, head of hair, which is entirely a blessing, an undeserved gift from God. 

You may wonder what my hair has to do with a repair of my nose. Well…it turns out that they slice a patch of skin from the forehead and pull it down to repair the nose.  In my case the slice of forehead went all the way into the scalp.  So the skin currently on the side of my nose thinks that it’s on top of my head. So there is hair.  This has altered my shaving routine. 

My favorite Catholic priest, Richard Rohr ( often reminds us that it is good for the soul to endure a daily humiliation.  Since December 14th, I have had a daily humiliation.  We can only hope I emerge from the ordeal with a fully repaired nose along with a more virtuous soul. 

Thank you for asking, Snort. 


Tomorrow: A warning for coaches….