Dear Dawg: Our school buses drive by the home of our local nudist every day. Help!

Dear Dawg: First of all, let me say that we all like Cecil.  We all hold the view that what you do in the privacy of your own home is your business.  Cecil has lived here forever and has many friends.  But he does have his eccentric side.  Cecil likes to spend a lot of time sunning himself in the yard—sunning his WHOLE self.  Cecil is affectionately known as “our local nudist.”  Sometimes he has company—both male and female—nekkid as jaybirds every one of them.  Cecil has put up a privacy fence, so for the most part this is not a problem. But from a school bus, you can see right over that fence.  Unfortunately, the route our buses take requires every one of them to go right down Cecil’s street.  The kids find this very exciting, but we are getting parent complaints and are worried about our responsibilities.  Waddyathink? Any suggestions????  THAT’S THE BARE TRUTH.

DEAR THAT’S THE BARE:  You could let some air out of the tires.  You could tell the driver to create a distraction on the other side of the bus (HEY, KIDS—LOOK OVER THERE!!) and drive real fast.  You could declare this to be a field trip for credit in the health class.  Beyond that, we’re not sure. Of course you could talk to Cecil about it.  Since he has erected a privacy fence, it seems he is wanting to shield the general public from seeing evidence of his alternative lifestyle. He is also probably wanting to make sure that he does not get charged with indecent exposure.  It’s not a crime to go all Adam and Eve out in the woods where no one can see you.  Indecent exposure occurs when the person is reckless about whether or not others can see his private parts, and you are showing yourself off with an intent to arouse or gratify someone’s sexual desires. So we think you ought to let Cecil know that the privacy fence is not fully effective, and see if he can at least build it a little higher.  Good luck!