Dear Dawg: Now We Are 0-3! Can We Fire the Coach NOW????

DEAR DAWG: Last week we asked if we would be on safe legal ground in firing our coach after we lost the first two games. You said that this was not even a “scintilla” of evidence sufficient to do the job. I don’t see what scintillas have to do with it. Scintillas are native to our part of Texas and we are very fond of the furry little critters. So I think you should leave the small animals out of this discussion.

As far as the coach, you should know that we are now 0-3! Will that do? We’re getting embarrassed over here. Can we fire him now? WE HEAR THAT MACK BROWN MAY BE AVAILABLE. ART BRILES?

DEAR WE HEAR: Slow down, buddy. We’re getting the picture. Football is apparently pretty important if you are interested in canning the coach before the season is half over and bringing in a high priced college coach. But our legal advice remains the same. CHILL. And good luck tonight.