Dear Dawg: Do you think the board is trying to send me a message?

Dear Dawg: our school board has come up with an interesting approach to posting the “no guns” signs in our administration building. At the last board meeting, they unanimously passed the following resolution:

WHEREAS, the board wishes to prohibit the possession or use of firearms in the school administration building; and

WHEREAS, the board wants to make this very clear to the public, by posting the appropriate signs; and

WHEREAS, it is well known that people don’t notice signs with a lot of words on the door of a building—they just walk right past; and

WHEREAS, the board wishes to assign to the superintendent tasks that he is capable of performing; and

WHEREAS, the board is tired of answering taxpayers questions about what exactly the superintendent does, and why we pay him so much;

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, that the superintendent shall cause to be manufactured what is commonly known as a “sandwich board sign” which shall contain the appropriate language from the Texas Penal Code concerning both open and closed carrying of firearms, with said sign to be in English on one side and Spanish on the other, and that the said superintendent shall affix said sandwich board sign to his person and march back and forth in front of the entrance to the administration building from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., every business day until relieved of this duty by vote of the board; and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that the superintendent may not delegate this responsibility to anyone else.

What do you think, Dawg? Should I be looking for work elsewhere?  SANDWICH BOARD SUPERINTENDENT.

DEAR SANDWICH BOARD: Kinda looks that way, dontcha think?  But look on the bright side.  I don’t see anything in that Resolution that reduces your pay.  We know a lot of people who would be willing to carry a sandwich board sign for the pay of a superintendent. So enjoy the exercise, carry out your duties with enthusiasm, and look forward to your next evaluation.