Dear Dawg: It was a lovely graduation ceremony until the principal called out the names of the graduates who had perfect attendance since kindergarten. This was the moment I was waiting for! My child has been there every single day, rain or shine, through sickness and health for 13 years of school. My entire family was ready to yell and shout and blow our air horns when we heard our boy’s name. And then….the principal skipped over him. There were three kids with perfect attendance, and she called out two names, leaving us out. I confronted her after the ceremony. She confirmed that yes, my boy had perfect attendance, and she simply goofed. She was most apologetic, but Dawg….this just doesn’t cut it. I have sent a letter to the school demanding that the principal take out a full page ad in the local newspaper to clarify this situation. We are considering legal options. Any suggestions? OUT FOR REVENGE.

DEAR OUT FOR REVENGE: The Dawg has often heard that revenge is a dish best served cold. We understand that this comes from the Mafia, and it means that the most satisfying form of revenge requires some planning and thus should not be done too quickly. Let your anger cool, and then stick it to the other guy. Think of a horse head in the principal’s bed, for example. Or there is the very satisfying revenge of Inigo Montoya: “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Just to be clear, the Dawg recommends neither course of action. We do not favor headless horses or revenge killings. But we just want to suggest that you might be best off to wait awhile before doing anything rash. We don’t think you have a lot of effective legal options here. Of course you can complain to the school board, but the graduation is over. The moment has passed. We’d put it under the category of “stuff happens.”

DAWG BONE: BETTER TO LET STUFF HAPPEN THAN TO COMMIT A CRIME IN THE SERVICE OF REVENGE