DEAR DAWG: I got sued last year.  Stupid, frivolous lawsuit.  My lawyer just called to let me know that the suit has been dismissed.  I guess that's a good thing, but I'm a little perturbed about the language my lawyer used. He told me that the case was "de-Wopped."  No doubt this is a reference to the scumbag lawyer who filed the suit (Frankie LaRocca) and his equally scummy client (Dolores Antonelli).

In the name of Annette Funicello, what the heck is this about?!  They may be scumbags, Dawg, but that's no reason to insult their ancestry. My lawyer probably doesn't know that I am half Italian (my mother's side) and so I took offense at this ethnic slur.  What should I do?  MAMA WOULD TURN OVER IN HER GRAVE, MAY SHE REST IN PEACE.

DEAR MAMA WOULD:

Hold off, my friend.  This was no ethnic slur.  Your lawyer was using shorthand to explain that the case had been Dismissed for Want of Prosecution.  D-WOP.  This would happen if the scumbag lawyer filed the suit, and then sat on it without doing anything else.  Eventually, the court gives notice that if you don't get off your butt and do something with the suit, it's going to be D-WOPped.  We can assure you that this happens to lawyers of all ethnic persuasions and the fact of this particular lawyer's Italian ancestry is pure coincidence. Your mama can rest in peace and you don't need to do anything other than thanking your lawyer for the good report.

DAWG BONE: THE DEFINITION OF A “FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT” IS ONE THAT NAMES ME AS A DEFENDANT.