DEAR DAWG: Snort, here. Rip Snort. Intrepid Reporter. Friend of the Truth. Dawg, our investigative team has uncovered evidence that Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick is not seriously hurt after his fall yesterday. However, he is not the same person. Something happened to the man.
It seems that the Lite Guv was riding a bicycle in Titus County, enjoying the beauty of East Texas in the springtime, heading toward the small town of Damascus, Texas. Suddenly, he was thrown to the ground and temporarily blinded by a bright light. Mr. Patrick later reported hearing voices, calling on him to change his ways. Mr. Patrick believes that the voices were those of the public school teachers who taught him as he grew up. “Why are you persecuting us” the voices said. “Why are you not using your position of power to support public education?”
Sources tell us that Mr. Patrick is a changed man, suddenly on fire with a passion to support public education. Patrick told one close friend “I’ve been wrong. I need to change. I now see that a general diffusion of knowledge is essential to the preservation of the liberties and rights of the people. I want to make sure that I do my legislative duty to make suitable provision for the support and maintenance of an efficient system of public free schools.”
Mr. Patrick will be returning to Austin today. Watch for a fiery apostle for public education to lead the way. SNORT.
DEAR SNORT: Thank you, Friend of the Truth. We recall hearing a similar story about someone else, but can’t remember who that was. In any event, we look forward to Dan Patrick, The New Man.
DAWG BONE: IT HAPPENED ONCE! IT CAN HAPPEN AGAIN.
Tomorrow: Toolbox Tuesday!!